Excuse me, do I know you? You seem to think we know each other, but we’ve never actually met.
How much do you think I’ll care about how your day was when you’ve never made me feel anything?
I’ve never looked into your eyes and felt a flutter. You’ve never smiled at me and made me flush.
You’ve “lol”ed a few times here, but what in the world does your laugh sound like?
From the first moment you said, “Hello”, I had a feeling you’d be wasting my time. In a world where I have endless options and am encouraged to make a judgment in two seconds, you really think “Hello” is how you want to get my attention? Because that’s super original. That’s not something I say or hear a billion times a day. Don’t ask me how my weekend went. Was your weekend so incredibly uneventful that you need to know what a complete stranger did?
Stop asking me these meaningless questions and just set a date to meet already. Because all this back and forth is pointless if we don’t feel something for each other. That spark, that click, that sense of chemistry; that’s what I’m looking for. I want to see how much I notice when your hand accidentally touches mine. I want to know if my body will slowly gravitate towards the heat of yours. I want to feel my pulse race as I watch your lips inch closer.
What I don’t want is a selfie of you waking up, tangled in your blanket. Since when was that an appropriate image to message anyone? I don’t need to see your eyes crusted shut and imagine what your morning breath smells like. Am I to expect a selfie of you taking a dump next?
The extent of our interaction has been confined to this app. The most we’ve done for each other is swipe right. And even that we didn’t do for each other. We did it cause we found each other aesthetically pleasing. You want to know what else is aesthetically pleasing? The leather jacket I saw in the store window last week. Actually, I have a deeper connection with that jacket because at least I’ve seen it in person. It’s rugged exterior made me gasp with delight and when it opened up to me and showed me it’s price tag I was filled with regret. I had feelings for that jacket. Genuine feelings. Longing feelings. Feelings I’ve never felt for you. I think about it’s hand stitched lines and long to graze it with my fingertips. I think about it’s fine Italian craftsmanship and it sends a shiver down my spine.
I can’t even remember which one of the fifty guys I spoke to today you are.
